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Imagine...
"Th Imagine... "The imagination is the most powerful thing we have. It can be our greatest ally or our worst fear. There are many monsters in reality, but we humans carry the worst one in ourselves created simply by our imagination." -- ??? It was mid-January and Brooke, a 12-year-old girl from Florida, had lived a relatively normal life until she hit puberty. Since everyone reacts differently, she was one of the ones who acted more hormonal than normal... She made the mistake of searching her symptoms online and self-diagnosed herself with paranoia and bipolar disorder. She believed this was due to the violent and excessive mood swings she would go through. Her parents believed there was nothing wrong and insisted she finally go to a real doctor. When she did, she found out she had chronic anxiety and schizophrenia which began acting up now because of the hormonal changes within her body. She always had these disorders and could live a relatively normal life, the doctor explained—with medication. She went into denial that she had such a disorder, knowing only the stereotypical side and in the end refused the medication. Many years later, she was now 21 and had moved away from home. Having just barely graduated high school, she never attempted college and instead took on a well-paying and stable job. Over the years she tried to constantly block out the imagination of what it would be like when she snapped because of her disorders and only grew more fearful as depression was added on to the list. Once it became unbearable, her depression and anxiety made her want to take her own life. In order to stop the terrible thoughts and keeping her imagination from running wild, she insisted on self-medicating to finally make her troubles go away which were furthered by lacking sleep and stress brought on from her job. She wanted them to just go away... Brooke ended up having her worries fade when she took the medication, something it was supposed to do, but the medicine messed with her mind and damaged it until she had a full on addiction. Whenever she was off the medication, she would go through strange spells. At first, she became very disoriented, later becoming violent, and showed symptoms of what others would assume was split personality disorder. Each time she returned to taking the pills, more damage was done as the weeks dragged on into months. Brooke was still afraid to look up schizophrenia to discover the truth and ignorantly continued to believe the stereotypical side of her disorder. She refused help and continued to self-medicate until it made her seem like a completely different person. She continued her life, full of paranoia and frustration on top of depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia in which she would take her growing anger out by damaging and breaking items in her household as her mind became more warped. She often struggled to get off the medication when she realized she had an addiction and desperately tried to get onto the one the doctor recommended that her parents bought for her with no success. It was true that Brooke had enough strength to keep fighting but only continued to struggle in fighting her addiction and began experiencing worsening symptoms of her schizophrenia because of the damage to her mind. Something that never happened began to occur. She began to hear voices, soft at first which grew progressively louder as the days dragged on. She experienced hallucinations which only got worse the more aware she became of her addiction. The more she panicked and the less she slept made it increasingly worse. The medication had now messed with her mind to the point her body encouraged her to overdose. This increased the amount of hallucinations she saw and non-existent voices she heard and began to feel as if she was being watched... By something or someone. The voices often taunted her or reflected her addiction and encouraged her to believe that taking the pills would take care of her worries and unrealistically believed it always had in order to save her from her imagination. However, she had to keep taking more and more to feel that same high. Eventually, the medication had warped her concept of reality and imagination to the point when she was in a very stressful situation, she ended up having a very different expression of her personality and acted abnormally towards her co-workers and family members. She was fired and became increasingly more unstable and violent, twitchy, apathetic to important situations, and had vivid hallucinations of spiders crawling along the walls and a pair of eyes watching her from the closet at night. However, there were some reactions that made her claw at her own skin until it bled and scarred her body as she felt like things were crawling inside of her. One day in April, her parents came to visit. They wanted to check up on her and see if she was doing better and taking the proper medication she was prescribed. They only come to find her to be in poor hygiene and health since the last time they saw her a couple months prior. They noticed the neglection of the house, it was messy. She had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, she hadn't showered for a while, had scabs, open wounds, and scars on her skin with the bottle of pills in her hand while she stood by the couch seemingly lifeless deep in a state of depression because of her current situation. She had barely gotten out of bed that morning as well. She was very distant and they heard her start to mumble to herself upon hearing things that weren't there and feared being watched the longer her family stayed. Upon knowing now that she was still taking the medication she was addicted to, they firmly talked to her with no success of getting through to her. She just didn't seem to realize they were there. Then, they tried to physically take the medication away from her and stop her dead in her tracks. As her body's withdrawal from the medications increased the longer they had stayed, due to trying to stay off of them again, her adrenaline steadily increased as she reacted accordingly and abruptly when she felt the anger her parents had towards her and worry that she wasn't stopping the medication. When this took place, she regained enough awareness to know someone was trying to take her pills. They immediately began stressing her out and she reacted violently upon not wanting to lose the medication. She seemed desperate and begged them to stay back and let her be as her body became twitchy and jittery. She started clawing at herself again. She continued to act abnormally and fought back when they tried to get close. With her mind not thinking clearly, in order to take the stress trigger away she went into a fit of violent rage when they refused to stop and cornered her. That was a mistake. She found and picked up a screwdriver she had nearby where she was fixing one of the legs on her coffee table by the window where she stood. Her parents carefully backed off upon seeing her hold it as if it were a weapon and frustratedly tried to talk sense into her. However, as it started to work, her father made the mistake of confronting her very suddenly. He roughly grabbed her and struggled against her as he tried to take the weapon away from her. She grunted and screamed as struggled to fight him off from the ground in the adrenaline of the moment which triggered an involuntary action of stabbing him in the hand once he tried to grab the screwdriver. She had to in order to get him to stop fighting with her. Now in shock, she went into a state of non-reality. She took the screwdriver out of his hand and acted as if she saw her father as a full on threat and assumed the worst of her mother along with him. "They want to kill you." "We're watching you...". She believed they weren't her actual parents as the voices increased and she became detached from reality. Her response to their help was irrational and violent. She began to become squirmy and twitchy, again. She was mumbling erratically about how she knew she was being watched as she glared at them with bloodshot eyes. She stepped closer and asked who they were and if they were sent to kill her by a group of people she believed was trying to take advantage of her and kill her. They were only trying to take her medication away, they explained. They continuously tried defending themselves to calm her down, insisting she was safe but the voices kept repeating, "We're watching you...". "You can't run from them." She reacted in paranoia upon believing they were avoiding her questions and lying to her before her father once again acted out of instinct to save himself and his wife. She immediately jolted forward, stabbing both of them until they were choking on their own blood. Twitching, coughing, gasping for breath until the groaning finally stopped and their bodies stilled. She finally went to bed as the paranoia wore off. Even upon seeing what she'd done once her mind cleared, she felt unaffected by seeing her parents dead on the floor at the time which was yet another symptom. She managed to finally sleep one night this month after the incident... Brooke woke up the next morning, thinking she dreamt the entire ordeal but upon walking into the living room, she dropped the hair scrunchy she was using to tie her hair when she saw the bodies. She stared for a moment, unable to tell if she was actually seeing what laid before her. Soon, she realized she'' did'' commit murder and became frantic and regretful upon becoming more connected emotionally. She was just now realizing who they were which she did not the night before until after the crime was committed. She was shocked, terrified, and distraught with anger and hate towards herself. It was all her fault because she couldn't get off her addiction, she told herself. She began having a mental breakdown from the feeling of deep guilt and loss. She pounded her fists into the wall until her knuckles broke and bled. She took her anger out on her belongings. She broke lamps and kicked vases, she beat her head against the wall hoping to wake herself up from this nightmare before she finally accepted reality. Brooke walked to her parents and knelt. She hesitantly went to reach for their bodies before hunching over and crying even more hysterically. Once she'd calmed down and became more rational, she knew it was best to call the police and tell them what happened while she was still in control of her damaged body. She decided to finally get professional help. Although she didn't have to specifically call the police, she subconsciously wanted to see herself suffer in court, even jail as she could never forgive herself for her actions. The police came with a medical team and took bodies. There was no investigation as she admitted to her crime and was taken away in handcuffs. Brooke was put on trial later the next month after spending some time in jail and acted relatively normal that entire time. A lawyer was soon presented to her. With the explanation of what happened along with evidence she wasn't mentally or physically well, she was declared not guilty on grounds of "insanity" in order to get the help she needed. Of course, it wasn't true, but what else could she say, after all? "It was an accident..."? She was sent to a psych ward hoping to be helped where the help she gets was good but often did not bring progress in stabilizing her condition as depression took over her mind and weakened her resolve as it always had. She tried to hold on and have hope until she realized some of the staff and patients thought ill of her once the rumors got around that she killed her own parents. She discovered that she was seen as crazy by some of the more, ill-experienced doctors and by other patients because of her schizophrenia, hallucinations, and detachment to reality. She often cried hysterically at night unable to sleep when remembering how she killed her parents or was distant and mumbled to herself. She was continuously being looked down upon as a stereotypical schizophrenic and feared because of that. While Brooke was never neglected, many treatments were attempted until the withdrawals from her medication began returning having made a permanent impact on her body and made her constantly crave the drug. This made her so unpredictable and twitchy to the point she was increasingly clawing at her own skin believing something was crawling inside of it again. She often hallucinated that she saw what she claimed to be small venomous spiders crawling around underneath her skin and making it red which triggered her arachnophobia when nothing was truly there. At first, they took simple precautions and gave her gloves to stop her from harming herself, but she continued to stubbornly remove them and kept scratching and digging. Eventually, she had to be placed in a padded room with restraints and a straight jacket to prevent her from hurting herself as she started to self-harm with the clawing and trying to take her own life to make it end but was too scared to finish it. Occasionally the withdrawals would go away and she was allowed back into her own room as they gave her medication to lessen her symptoms but without proper sleep, it wasn't completely effective. The cycle repeated as her body still, could not cope and recover. She could not get over being without the addictive drugs and became such a lost cause that her concept of reality and imagination became almost non-existent from going so long without sleep making many symptoms of her Schizophrenia become very apparent. She would ever increasingly talk to herself and continue to hear voices and see her parents in which she would once again begin to cry. She would claw harder into her own skill till she reached bone and started taking offense against the doctors to protect herself from the same non-existent threat that made her kill her parents. One doctor committed suicide from seeing how bad she became. Having seen her attack two nurses in cold blood as they tried to restrain her from clawing at herself, he wanted to avoid being killed by her hands. The nurses were left to bleed out from the artery in their neck being punctured in a way blood flowed slowly and steadily until one finally choked enough on her own blood and died as the other reached for a butter knife that had been thrown on the floor to finish herself off. The weapon of choice was a makeshift shank she made from breaking off and sharpening a piece of wood from a rocking chair in her room. With a knife she confiscated from the cafeteria, the weapon was made while in one of her spells of fearing she was being watched and believed she needed one. After 2 more months of this cycle, the doctors had all but lost any hope they had of her making a possible recovery and she lived out the rest of her life locked in a straight jacket in her bed and learned to wield her shank while carrying it in her mouth. At times, she still drifts off being unable to distinguish reality from imagination and continued to attack those during her episodes when she believed she was being watched and began frantic in a full on fit of violence and a panic attack as she believed she had to fight to survive. Eventually, she was locked up in a padded room and was finally able to sleep peacefully knowing she couldn't hurt anyone again. A week after being put in her own padded room, she suffered a slow painful death due to a heart attack and sudden respiratory failure. What started it all was one by one, her organs began to shut down due to the damage the medication had done to her over the years. Next, when it got to her heart, she began suffering from a massive heart attack and screamed in pain for all to hear. Blood curdling as if she were being murdered slowly and brutally by a cold hearted killer. Finally, what stopped it all was she experienced full respiratory failure and finally, limped over with her eyes going into the back of her head—death had taken her from her suffering at last. After her death, whenever she would wander around the halls, she would bring about suffering for the doctors and patients alike, however, it wasn't intentional. Some patients claimed to feel all of her past symptoms after explaining they apparently saw a girl with eyes seemingly rolled into the back of her head, watching them, while covered with a straight jacket and chains dragging the floor. The jingling of the chains could sometimes be heard in the dead of night as she wandered down the hallways, often crying hysterically due to being unable to pass on from her regrets. The sounds of the chains often drove other patients crazy and prevented a majority of them from sleeping which made the symptoms settle in and take away their connection to reality. Certain patients and doctors, upon seeing her body and how other patients who suffered had clawed to their own bones from imagining spiders crawling underneath their skin. Most would commit suicide in fear after at least a couple weeks, other, upon seeing her, killed themselves as they remembered she used to kill some of the doctors and nurses when she lost realization and imagined she was being attacked. Her face was scarred from clawing at her skin when she was alive and had a strenuous expression on her face. It was as if she was in shock from when she died from her massive heart attack and respiratory failure. Patients reported seeing her twitching and struggling under her jacket to try and claw at her own skin. She still haunts the Louis de la Parte Florida Mental Health Institute to this day after dying and haunting it for a grand total of 20 years now. People still report the same symptoms and sightings of her, and some mysteriously die of organ failure, heart attacks, and/or respiratory failure. Her crying can even be heard outside the building at night if one listens carefully... Many of you would consider this a tragic tail, but how would you feel going through what Brooke did? Could you relate? Do you know yourself well enough to know how you'd react? Could you imagine the frustration, the pain, the suffering? Imagine having these symptoms that you know nothing of how to fix them and you're afraid of others considering you crazy because of the disorder you have. Imagine the lack of feeling, the uncontrollable hallucinations, and voices in your head that she heard. Imagine the fear of believing you're constantly being watched. Imagine the grief of never being able to forgive yourself for killing your own parents when they tried to help you and you couldn't control your own emotions because you denied proper help. And when you do get help, it was too late and you can never be fixed. Imagine how you'd feel if you lost your loved ones and it was all your fault. Imagine being unable to tell reality from imagination. What you could go through is almost unimaginable. So is how you might feel or lack thereof. When you look at it for face value, it's not such a scary story but when you try to imagine being in her shoes, does your imagination of how you'd feel go wild with fear of all the possible outcomes? There are many monsters in reality, but we humans carry the worst one in ourselves created by our imagination. It's the fact that we imagine those "monsters" could be real which scares us and imagining what would happen if they were real. One's fear is fueled by one's own imagination. Without imagination, no one would harbor a single fear. That's what makes your imagination, your worst nightmare, or your greatest ally. Anything can appear normal, but to make it tell a deeper tale, all you have to do is just Imagine... Get to Know Brooke ' Name:' Brooke Develin (dev-len) Age: Died at the age of 21 Gender: Female Species: Human Personality: ''' '''Brooke is a girl who suffers from schizophrenia. Due to the side effect of bad medication, this begins to affect how she thinks, feels, and acts. She originally had a clear realization of what was real and what was not, was very kind, and considerate, but her imagination and fear of hurting others caused her to become paranoid after she went to see a doctor and find out why she was acting more hormonal than most teens. Before her doctor's visit, she was foolish enough to self-diagnosed herself with anxiety and bi-polar due to her sudden outburst of anger when she was backed into a wall at school and from her hormones in general which was more violent than normal before she'd immediately feel guilt and apologize before hiding herself to avoid harming others. Brooke is prone to not wanting to delve deeper into the factual information of disorders because she fears of what she'll find out about herself that will be worse than what she ignorantly continues to believe. The medication she takes has very negative effects which she experiences which alter the way her brain thinks even more than her disorders already do and has slowly warped her realization of reality and imagination while giving her a high that makes her forget about her problems and act more normally. When people talk to her, she tends to zone out and become unresponsive or act withdrawn around her family and friends to avoid them from thinking something is wrong and acts happy whenever she can. She can express some emotions such as happiness (fake mostly, but sometimes genuine), fear, and sadness even with these disorders, however, most are very mild or almost non-existent. Frustration and uncontrollable fits of emotion can be brought on with enough pushing from others or if she feels she is threatened while in an unstable frame of mind. Brooke does not have a split personality at all even if the medication brought out seemingly other bodily personality which is just a part of who she became due to the side effects and the worsening of her disorders. She tends to not be violent and very quiet until she with a strong sense of awareness, justice, and love for others which include her friends, family, and co-workers. When she goes through withdrawal or overdoses, she becomes frantic, twitchy, claws at her own skin, and lacks a realization of what is real and what is just being produced in her head by her schizophrenia. None of this was caused by traumatic childhood experiences as Brooke has lived a very normal happy life until she hit puberty when the symptoms began to take effect due to the hormones trying to balance themselves as hormones can worsen or ignite symptoms of many disorders as stress and even depression effect these symptoms. As her schizophrenia got worse throughout school before she barely managed to graduate, her grades began to suffer as she would zone out during class or be sent into the hall for being unresponsive to the teacher when she seemed like she wasn't paying attention or drawing to try and concentrate on the lectures. After she began working, she grew more stressed, suffered from a lack of sleep, and self-medicated to try and suppress her developing depression that co-existed with her anxiety and of course, her schizophrenia. History: ' Brooke lived a normal, happy lifestyle. She did just fine in school until she hit puberty when things began to go downhill. There was no record of trauma nor abuse in the household and she was only rarely bullied but brushed it off and lived her life the way she wanted. When she started letting her imagination get away with her once puberty started becoming more aggressive than usual, which can vary for each individual, she self-diagnosed her own illnesses online. When she told her parents, they insisted she was just fine before they took her to a doctor and let her stay alone as she was old enough to care for herself until the visit was over. Blood was taken and within a couple weeks, her results came back where she was once again, face to face with the doctor. She explained that Brooke had chronic anxiety and schizophrenia which made her imagination cause her to panic. She calmly refused to take the medication as she insisted she would be just fine and went home. The more she worried, the more she began suffering from her anxiety and worried about what she might do to others. She secluded herself which didn't make anything better. Her grades declined, she became mostly emotionally detached, things that were important didn't impact her as they should have, and she became withdrawn and sometimes reacted irrationally to her parents. Once she finished school, she got a job and lived out on her own. The stress from work caught up with her and she had plenty of sleepless nights in which her anxiety and symptoms grew increasingly worse with the increased lack of sleep. In order to make it stop, she decided she was smart enough to decide what medication she needed and didn't heed the warnings on the box. She self-medicated and became addicted. '- Powers and Abilities – Abilities: Can cause symptoms similar to her own in the past to patients within the institution she now haunts, but involuntarily. Can also involuntarily cause heart attacks when people see or strongly sense her presence, can cause respiratory failure in people whom she stays close to for too long, and after suffering from her symptoms long enough, their organs will eventually shut down over time or one by one in the time span of an hour. Powers: Paranormal Strength: Has good intentions, prefers to be sweet and caring towards others, loves to listen when people need help or need someone to talk to (when in her right mind), very talented at art, however, she tends to draw morbid pictures. Weakness: '''Regret, her own imagination, lack of knowledge, ignorance, worry, anxiety, depression, loss of reality. '''Weapons: Screwdriver (formerly), custom made shank '- Appearance - ' Hair color: '''Dirty Blonde '''Hairstyle: '''Her hair is styled straight and long. It is often worn down and falls to her shoulder blades. '''Eye color: Blue Outstanding features: Scars from clawing at her skin from her head to her toes, even bone can be seen. Eyes rolled back into her head. Clothing: She wears a turtleneck sweater, jeans, a pendant around her neck, and sneakers (formerly), straight jacket w/ chains '- Other –' Like(ed): Helping others, doing well at her job and school, pleasing her parents, bubble tea. Dislike(s): '''Herself, those who judged her and hate others, the symptoms she suffered from, not being as strong as she hoped she was, and her past addiction and actions. '''